Stating the Obvious

Having heard it from a person that shall remain nameless recently, I figure I'll do everyone a service and let you in on the secret.

When you substitute the personal pronoun "she" for something gender-neutral, like "they" you don't fool anyone. If you use "he" for guys and "they" or "that person" for girls, everyone knows what you are talking about. And because you're hesitant to say "she," they can deduce that there is a reason you don't want to let on that you are talking about a girl - often, because you are very aware that she is a girl, and you're trying to "play it cool."

Another useless way of squirming around "lying" by referring to her as a he, is to avoid pronouns altogether. Consider the following: "I went to meet a friend for lunch, and my friend never showed up. I ended up eating my lunch and going back to work, and was disappointed that my friend never made it. Later, I found out that my friend just forgot, though my friend was very sorry."

Suspicious? Very. And because you fail to use pronouns, you draw more attention to the sentence, and your quasi-deceptive manner makes people wonder what you are hiding. If instead you said "I went to meet a friend for lunch, and she never showed up. I ended up eating lunch and going back to work, and was disappointed that she never made it. Later, I found out that she just forgot, though she was very sorry."

Yes, then everyone knows that you were talking about a girl. But at least you don't draw undue attention to it. The second is altogether less suspicious than the first.

That is all.