We don't like being weak. We want to hide our flaws, and emphasize our strengths. It's only natural in a world where "only the strong survive." But Christians are not called to live by that law. Christians are called to live by the law of love, and a shell of false invulnerability holds love at arm's length.
We all pray for God to remove our weaknesses, to make us stronger and better. But Paul had a different approach - that when God denied those requests (for he himself made them), he decided to boast in his weaknesses, because it was in his weakness that the strength and power of God was revealed.
It got me thinking - what, then are the weaknesses that I can boast in?
The most obvious for me is that I'm really, really lonely. I've moaned about it at length in the archives of this blog, and the feeling doesn't go away with time. I may be learning to cope with it, or I may be trying to fill enough of my time that I don't have a chance to think about it as much. But it's always there. In lieu of a spouse, it is what is with me when I wake up in the morning, and I go to bed with it every night.
It's the gateway to many forms of sin in my life. When I begin to dwell on it, I am much faster to turn to bitterness, anger, lust, covetousness, and other forms of soul-tainting filth. It is the foundation of my deepest doubts concerning God. The disappointment and frustration I have experienced as I prayed for many forms of deliverance from it are always on my mind when I pray for anything.
When I think of debilitating things in life, it's #1 with a bullet. If I had to name my greatest weakness - that would be it.
So how do I boast in that? There's a number of things, I could say. But they all sound hollow if I try. The only one that really holds weight is this:
It's in my weakness that I am forced to look to God. In my strength, I look to myself and any work of God is buried too deep to see. It's only through the dark hole in my heart that I can say from experience that in the darkest parts of my life God is still there, and God is still good.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
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2 comments:
Dave-
Your post definitely made me stop and think. How many times do I pray "Dear Father, please give me the strength to _____." I plead with Him of infinite strength to send a smidgen of that might my way. However, what I really need to do is revel in the weakness and let him work through me.
Thanks
Trav
Hey Dave,
I am reading a fictional book right now by Ted Dekker called Blessed Child. It really makes you think. I will write more about it on my blog, but you might find it interesting too. Anyways, I completely understand your pain. The only time I didn't feel it was when I lived in WI. I found a huge group of single Christians in their 30's. And believe it or not, they were content, and that contentness was contagious. It is hard here when all your friends are married with kids etc. All I can say is hang in there. It is easy to go off the path, settle for less, including nonbelievers. Be as strong as you possibly can.
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