Yelling at the Radio

Why do I listen to Talk Radio? Ask me on different days and you will likely get different answers. Some days, it's that I just want something in the background where I know I will get the news at least every hour. Some days, I care what is happening in the world enough to want to hear what others have to say about it. But on a day like today, I seem to listen simply to get aggravated.

At one point, I verbally responded to the radio, and then had to explain that I was in fact addressing the radio, not the other person in the room with me at the time.

I understand that a talk show host wins no viewership points for being bland and inoffensive. They are better if they can polarize people and get responses, even if such responses can be negative - it shows people are listening, and it makes for more interesting radio than some person's monologue.

But need they also try to appear as all-knowing, all-experiencing deities of life? I get personally sick of hearing our local host address almost any interesting or unique facet of a person's life with "I've done that," or in the rare instance that the host has no such personal experience, he always knows someone who does.

But my greater pet peeve is that of condescension. Not in the good way that Philip Yancey describes in Disappointment With God, but the "you are obviously too foolish to grasp the simple concept I am trying to communicate to you" kind.

The Rules of Talk Show Hosting
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1) You are always right. About everything. If you should state that the sky is green and the grass is blue, people are morons if they do not agree with you. Should they try to pin you down by asking questions, say something like "You get your own show and then you can ask the questions."

2) The Founding Fathers were the all-knowing deities of how to make a government. You shall invoke their name to stir up a sense of political nostalgia for the "good old days." You shall not mention that those days included the evils of slavery and rather overt discrimination.

3) You shall not ever admit that you don't have any experience with something.

4) There is never any middle ground. One of these two options is evil and to be reviled at all costs: Bill Clinton or George W. Bush. On no occasion shall there be a spirit of cooperation, unless it involves getting everything you want and a bag of potato chips.