Does it Matter?

I wonder: do girls know how gut-wrenchingly difficult it can be to approach them? Does it matter that a guy tries dialing her number 5 times, only to clear it instead of putting the call through before finally getting the nerve and hitting "Talk" (and promptly fighting the urge to hang up as soon as he hears dial tone and realizes the call is about to go through?

Does it matter that he's feeling physically ill with nervousness, that he paces about the house trying to get up the nerve to talk to her, that his palms go cold and he's trying desperately hard to breate normally so he doesn't sound like an idiot gasping for breath into the phone?

Does it matter that trying to approach someone you so admire feels like jumping from a plane hoping you can learn to fly - impossible, but oh so sweet if it works? That hearing the phone ring, and knowing that the phone was ringing in her her house was full of that no-going-back-now fear? That hearing her voice on the other end of the phone made the rest of the world go silent? That stumbling through an invitation to go ice skating is hard to do when your heart has suddenly stopped beating? That hearing that she had other plans deflated him like a worn-out parade float?

Or in the end, is it just an inconvinience? A possibly flattering but otherwise unwelcome intrusion into the evening? An uncomfortable moment to be dismissively laughed about among friends later? A sweet,if simple, thought like an old friend sending you a letter?

Having to let someone down is hard. I've been there (believe it or not), and envy no one who has to do it. Asking, not knowing whether such a let down awaits you is infinitely harder.