8 days

Last week, I thought I saw her with another guy. That hurt bad. Then I learned I was wrong, told that if it affected me the way it did, I should express it. I admit, I allowed more hope in my heart this past week than I had in a while. It seemed like the time was right for things to change.

In the end, the best part of the affair was that I lost the nerve to ask in person. I managed to be pleasant and polite on the phone, however brief the conversation was. Whatever the record for akward pauses on the phone was in under 2 minutes, I think the record was shattered tonight.

How ironic is it that one reason she's too busy is that she's handing out toys to sick children with her family (I think... I was losing focus by then). What sort of horrible person could fault someone for that? I don't even get an excuse that allows me a chance to get all upset about it without feeling like a Scrooge.

By the numbers:
4 - years I've had a crush on her
8 - days I spent in the last attempt to strike up the nerve to ask her to go do something with me
2 - minutes it took for it all to come crashing back down to sqaure 1.

She was, to her credit, as kind about the way she let me down as anyone could be. I hope that the guy that finds her not too busy realizes just how special she is.