Reflecting

At 9:00 on Saturday morning, we put our dog to sleep. The vet was kind enough to make a house call to do it, and I headed over to my parents' house at about 7:30 to spend a last few moments with Holly. As with every time I have seen her over the last year, it was hard. Just seeing how hard it was for her to move gave me sympathetic shudders.

There were plenty of tears all around. The hardest part was that she was on her feet at the end, examining what other people (the vet and nurse) were doing at the house. It was a two-step process, the first being a full-body anesthetic, the second was the shot to stop her heart. She was standing when she got the anesthetic, and she slowly sank to lie down as it took over - occasionally almost-vomiting.

When she couldn't feel anything, she got the second shot. We did our best to stay close and comforting to the end, and then she died about as peacefully as such a thing can be imagined.

It provided a good opportunity for reflection. I think a pet provides the best approximation for the love a parent has for a child (note: I'm NOT saying it's the same, just a reflection). But where a parent is likely to die before their child, pets live much shorter lives, so you get to watch them go from infant, to child, to adult, to senior, to dead.

Everything we did for our dog, we did for the best. Any shots, pills, training - we all did it because we cared for her. But how could we explain our plan to her? How could we explain that the foul-tasting pills we were shoving down her throat were to keep her liver from failing?

And I thought of this:

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

It is easy to think that if life sucks, it means God is not good. If we remember that our understanding is limited, we can accept that our Father loves us, and does in fact give us good gifts - even if some times those good gifts hurt. Because if what I know from the weekend holds true, He knows the pain it causes, and feels it too.