4-on-1
A shotgun and pistol vs. a pocketknife
4 teens against one 36 year-old man
This is the result
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Quote of the Day
"Not everyone heals as fast as you do, Logan." -Scott Summers
If you haven't seen X-Men 3 yet, I'd say it's worth the ticket and a few hours of your time. Just make sure you stay through the credits. I didn't, and missed the final scene of the movie. Stupid me.
If you haven't seen X-Men 3 yet, I'd say it's worth the ticket and a few hours of your time. Just make sure you stay through the credits. I didn't, and missed the final scene of the movie. Stupid me.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Broadsided
It's not the worst when you see it coming the whole way. It's when, just as the pressure seems to be lifting you're caught with your guard down. I expected it eventually, but it seemed still to come, not quite so soon. I marked a day on my calendar at work when I expected it to happen by (July 11, if you care for useless trivia), but was wondering if I made my guess to restrictive. Instead, it looks like I was about a month and a half too generous with the timing.
I know enough to know that two worse days are coming. I expect those within a year. By the end of it all, I'm certain 2006 will have been by far and away not only the worst year of my life, but worse than any I had dared imagine.
All I can do now is throw up my hands and wonder what's next. Everything can always get worse, and I expect just that - the only question is in what dimension.
I know enough to know that two worse days are coming. I expect those within a year. By the end of it all, I'm certain 2006 will have been by far and away not only the worst year of my life, but worse than any I had dared imagine.
All I can do now is throw up my hands and wonder what's next. Everything can always get worse, and I expect just that - the only question is in what dimension.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Arrogant
I remember when I was a snot-nosed kid fresh into college, feeling like a seasoned veteran of life. I remember speaking with a girl in her mid twenties about how much it stinks being single, and I was essentially told that I had no idea what I was talking about. I tried to justify it with my long years of experience, something she more than matched.
Looking back, I can say wholeheartedly that she was right. It takes on a new flavor as people who were just starting kindergarten when you entered middle school are getting married and you're still single.
But it makes me wonder how many things I have yet to learn. I have been called a pretty smart guy, by those who presumably don't know me as well as they think. But all I know is how very little I see. It is hard for me to keep that perspective in dealing with God.
All I see is hurt. I see no redemption from it. Every good I try to construct to say "here is the hand of God" is as a twig house in a malestrom. I want to believe but don't know what to believe in. I am an eyelash from becoming a firm practical atheist, and only the stigma of accepting the title of faithless and the fear of alienation not from the God it seems has left me alone, but from the bulk of my aquaintances (as I count my best friends as unbelievers). I cannot describe how I feel with words, and to try only brings a twinge in my heart and tears to my eyes.
My smallness, my aloneness in a large, cruel, and painful world hurts - to be a vapor with no mark, no rememberance, no trace of me in the world once I am gone. But also as the closest thing I have to comfort, it reminds me that I do not know everything and my prognostications for the future however bleak, are not all there is to it. It may yet be far worse than I can imagine, though without some flesh-rotting disease this is difficult to imagine. But it may yet be better, though i don't believe this with even a fiber of my being. I simply don't know.
This is not hope. Hope implies a salve for the soul that this does not bring me. But it is a sort of apathy that is better than the turmoil that is it's replacement and even then it is a weak substitute. But I'll take what I can get.
Looking back, I can say wholeheartedly that she was right. It takes on a new flavor as people who were just starting kindergarten when you entered middle school are getting married and you're still single.
But it makes me wonder how many things I have yet to learn. I have been called a pretty smart guy, by those who presumably don't know me as well as they think. But all I know is how very little I see. It is hard for me to keep that perspective in dealing with God.
All I see is hurt. I see no redemption from it. Every good I try to construct to say "here is the hand of God" is as a twig house in a malestrom. I want to believe but don't know what to believe in. I am an eyelash from becoming a firm practical atheist, and only the stigma of accepting the title of faithless and the fear of alienation not from the God it seems has left me alone, but from the bulk of my aquaintances (as I count my best friends as unbelievers). I cannot describe how I feel with words, and to try only brings a twinge in my heart and tears to my eyes.
My smallness, my aloneness in a large, cruel, and painful world hurts - to be a vapor with no mark, no rememberance, no trace of me in the world once I am gone. But also as the closest thing I have to comfort, it reminds me that I do not know everything and my prognostications for the future however bleak, are not all there is to it. It may yet be far worse than I can imagine, though without some flesh-rotting disease this is difficult to imagine. But it may yet be better, though i don't believe this with even a fiber of my being. I simply don't know.
This is not hope. Hope implies a salve for the soul that this does not bring me. But it is a sort of apathy that is better than the turmoil that is it's replacement and even then it is a weak substitute. But I'll take what I can get.
Civilization destroyed by disease
The Aztecs were wiped out by diseases, among them smallpox, brought unknowingly by the Spanish to which the natives had no natural immunity, right?
That's what I always heard.
Maybe everything I knew was wrong.
That's what I always heard.
Maybe everything I knew was wrong.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Said in passing
My roommate has begun journaling. He mentioned that he was waiting for me to leave, since he had to write something about me since I had mentioned I saw him writing in it.
I said: "Feel free, but know that all of my angst concerning women is copyrighted intellectual property of my blog."
It was funny. Really. We both laughed and everything.
-sigh-
I guess you just had to be there. But unless you're some sort of freaky stalker-person, you weren't. What were you thinking?
I said: "Feel free, but know that all of my angst concerning women is copyrighted intellectual property of my blog."
It was funny. Really. We both laughed and everything.
-sigh-
I guess you just had to be there. But unless you're some sort of freaky stalker-person, you weren't. What were you thinking?
Sick
I really don't like being sick, except that I have a generous sick-leave policy at work (this is probably because I could hypothetically use sick leave to care for a sick spouse or child - but not having those, it just means more time for me). It's some sort of head cold. The only time I have been nauseous was when I blew my nose hard enough to screw up my left inner ear, and all sense of balance vanished. I sat and looked at the TV, which was off and as is typically true, was not moving except as a part of the surface of the earth hurtling through the void of the cosmos. But it, and everything else seemed to be spinning, counterclockwise.
And at just that moment, the oven timer went off. I had to get up, navigate to the kitchen, and remove my food from the oven with my own senses trying to convince me that I was walking on the walls, the ceiling, or anything but a sturdy floor. I managed, but felt like passing out from the extreme disorientation in the process.
I have read that one of the earliest signs of civilization is a healed femur. If this bone is broken, the wounded person cannot hunt, cannot gather, and can in no way provide for himself. In the animal kingdom, this will kill you, but if you find a broken femur that has been healed, it means that someone cared for the wounded person until he recovered.
I wonder how much of that we have lost today. With our knowledge of infectious disease, it is more uncommon for people, having heard you are ill to place themselves in your presence. Within families, it is (in my experience) typical - when I had the stomach flu, I could call my sister and ask her to bring some supplies because I couldn't make it to the store. My roommate was also around, but he had little choice as well and was already in for a penny, as it were.
It is seen as an affectionate gesture by people with a significant other, as well. The girl who brings food to her diseased boyfriend, the guy who brings over movies to stay with his girl until she feels better. That... would be nice.
But beyond that, I wish that we (and by this, I really mean "I") had that in a community. That it did not have to be relegated to the realm of philos or eros to care for others in such a way. To visit, stay with, and care for the sick is to put your own self at risk for the sake of another. It is, in a small way, self sacrificing.
Then again, I also really wish I did have a girl that cared enough to care for me when I'm down. Feeling isolated already and having to cancel my few social interactions in a week to recuperate stinks. John Donne, beliving he had the plague and thus in quarantine lay in bed, cut off from the world, wrestling with God, hearing the tolling of the church bell announcing another death from the plague, composed the famous "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." I imagine I could have it worse. But I am trying to look to the hurts I have and in the vain belief that others go through the same feelings I do, put it out there to see how a church could address those needs.
Not that I believe a designated "sick-person-visitor" would make me feel better. I'd see them as doing it mostly as a chore, a role, or a job. I want the personal "I heard you were sick and wanted to help you through." Then again, I also wish I could put down "Number of persons: _2_" on the RSVP card for the wedding I'm attending in June. If wishes were fishes, I could fill all the seas. As it is, all I have is an empty glass bowl.
And at just that moment, the oven timer went off. I had to get up, navigate to the kitchen, and remove my food from the oven with my own senses trying to convince me that I was walking on the walls, the ceiling, or anything but a sturdy floor. I managed, but felt like passing out from the extreme disorientation in the process.
I have read that one of the earliest signs of civilization is a healed femur. If this bone is broken, the wounded person cannot hunt, cannot gather, and can in no way provide for himself. In the animal kingdom, this will kill you, but if you find a broken femur that has been healed, it means that someone cared for the wounded person until he recovered.
I wonder how much of that we have lost today. With our knowledge of infectious disease, it is more uncommon for people, having heard you are ill to place themselves in your presence. Within families, it is (in my experience) typical - when I had the stomach flu, I could call my sister and ask her to bring some supplies because I couldn't make it to the store. My roommate was also around, but he had little choice as well and was already in for a penny, as it were.
It is seen as an affectionate gesture by people with a significant other, as well. The girl who brings food to her diseased boyfriend, the guy who brings over movies to stay with his girl until she feels better. That... would be nice.
But beyond that, I wish that we (and by this, I really mean "I") had that in a community. That it did not have to be relegated to the realm of philos or eros to care for others in such a way. To visit, stay with, and care for the sick is to put your own self at risk for the sake of another. It is, in a small way, self sacrificing.
Then again, I also really wish I did have a girl that cared enough to care for me when I'm down. Feeling isolated already and having to cancel my few social interactions in a week to recuperate stinks. John Donne, beliving he had the plague and thus in quarantine lay in bed, cut off from the world, wrestling with God, hearing the tolling of the church bell announcing another death from the plague, composed the famous "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." I imagine I could have it worse. But I am trying to look to the hurts I have and in the vain belief that others go through the same feelings I do, put it out there to see how a church could address those needs.
Not that I believe a designated "sick-person-visitor" would make me feel better. I'd see them as doing it mostly as a chore, a role, or a job. I want the personal "I heard you were sick and wanted to help you through." Then again, I also wish I could put down "Number of persons: _2_" on the RSVP card for the wedding I'm attending in June. If wishes were fishes, I could fill all the seas. As it is, all I have is an empty glass bowl.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Stayin' Alive
I just want to say that listening to Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees makes me happy. I like to put it in my CD player, roll down my window, and crank up the volume. Even if I'm having a lousy day, for some reason, it makes me smile.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Malaria
Disclaimer: I have deep reservations about anthing with a subtitle as provocative as that on this page. But it gives me pause to watch the tallies, especially those at the bottom of the page accrue.
Hum the Jeopardy theme song to yourself.
Two people just died of malaria.
Hum it again.
Now it's three people.
Five people a minute. One person every 12 seconds.
Humbling.
Hum the Jeopardy theme song to yourself.
Two people just died of malaria.
Hum it again.
Now it's three people.
Five people a minute. One person every 12 seconds.
Humbling.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Falling Light
I just looked out my office window to see a quick burst of heavy rain (well, heavy enough that the raindrops were individually visible). But the clouds are light enough that the sun is shining clearly. It reflected off the rain, and made it look like light was falling from the sky. It was pretty.
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