Think of the color of traffic cones

A story I came up with on the spur of the moment. It made me chuckle. I repost it looking for a laugh. I'd welcome you trying to match my masterful wit.

...it could be worse. You could be a hamster with all your fur dyed bright orange, and shaved like a poodle. And then, all the other hamsters would be like "Woah, look at the small orange poodle!" And you'd be like, "Dudes, come on; I'm totally a hamster. " And they'd be like "No way!" And you'd be like "Way!" And they'd be like "No way!" And you'd be like "Way!"

And after a while, you'd probably just give up and shave all your fur. And then they'd run, because I think hamsters are scared of Chihuahuas. Or at least, they should be. Any dog with an unnatural love for Mexican food ought to be scary.

I had a hamster once. His name was George, I carried him around in my shirt pocket, and no matter which way you placed him on my chest as I lay down, he'd always run toward my belly button.

On an unrelated note, travel arrangements have been made for my first work-related trip. I'm flying to Raleigh July 18-20. I've never flown further than Oregon before. Cross-country should be interesting.

200th Post

For this momentus milestone, I offer a life lesson.

I glanced out my window longingly toward the beautiful (if warm) day outside. I happened to see a spider, on a strand of web dangling just outside. There was a bit of a breeze, and he would sway and blow, and sometimes seem to be holding on for dear life. And yet, on something invisible to my eye, he held on with admirable tenacity, climbing higher each time the breeze ebbed.

I was amazed by the strength of the single strand of web, as I am used to considering such things weak and unreliable. I thought of the web like faith, supporting the spider, invisible, yet secure in what could have been a gale.

I looked up some information, and glanced outside again. My heart was lifted, as the spider had nearly reached the roof he was climbing towards, not more than an inch away! Then, when all hope seemed certain of being fufilled, the web broke, and the spider plummeted out of sight.

Mornings - Yuck

Just one of those mornings - one where it seems almost impossible to get out of bed, but you manage anyway. Typical stuff, highlighted by my running sound for a wedding this weekend. I'm rather not a fan of weddings, but I know the guy so I go through the emotional wringer as a personal favor. I should be glad that the wedding is later in the day - I think I'm going to go by Webber Falls in the morning/early afternoon so that I have a chance to do something enjoyable. There's another reason I want to go there, but that's personal.

But there's a reason I'm going to the Black Rock Desert next weekend. I need something to look forward to in order to make it through this one, though with my luck it'll rain, turning the playa into quicksand under my car.

Things you never needed to know

While doing my best to sound real smart in an e-mail, I wanted to look up the latin phrase for "Know Thyself." If I were a Matrix-nerd, I could from memory. As it is, I had to look here. One other that I really liked: Cave Canem. Jose and Susan need to put this sign on their door. I'm not sure how to make it plural, but I know Murphy qualifies. If I ever have a house and the phrase applies, I'll definitely use it for myself.

Promotion

I officially made it! 1 year and 1 day I have now been with the State, and so I advance: no longer an Economist I, but an Economist II. I'm a regular, full-time employee. Not on probation, not on a trial basis. I expect thigns to go bad. The way the year has gone in other areas, I keep waiting for everything to collapse in others. But this, so far, is going well.

Black Rock

I'm going to be headed up to the Black Rock Desert on Thursday, June 22. I'll be up there for one night, and coming back Friday morning. The purpose of the trip is to enjoy the utterly black night sky, with an almost perfectly flat horizon. I'll be taking my dad's telescope, and my roommate's bringing his camera, and that's about it.

Mars and Saturn might be visible just after sunset, Jupiter will be up for much of the night, there will be almost no moon, and the Milky Way should be amazing. By 2 or 3 in the morning, the Andromeda galaxy should be visible in the scope. I'm also going to hunt (probably in vain) for a couple other galaxies and such.

I currently have one spare seat (the other in the back needs to be folded down for the telescope). I'd welcome anyone else that wants to join us - there will be no fires, and no (or very little) light, because the point is to enjoy the night sky. But I hear it's a good idea to go up with multiple vehicles, just in case. Should the weather not cooperate, the trip won't happen (clouds and wind being very poor companions to stargazing).

Let me know if you're interested. There are no facilities - no water, no toilets, no cell phone coverage. This is a no-impact area, so everything you bring in, you take out.

For what it's worth

Do you ever get so worked up you don't want to calm down? I think I blew off most of my steam Sunday. Still bummed about everything, but not in a remodel-the-house-by-puching-holes-in-the-wall sort of way. I was pretty down, though. I went to the store later to do grocery shopping, and even browsed the electronics aisles looking for something to pique my interest (movies, games, or hardware are like a "comfort food" for me), but couldn't even get excited by that selection.

Life goes on, despite my wishing I could stomp my feet and demand that it dance according to my tune. That doesn't mean that it stops hurting. It doesn't even mean that the hurting grows weaker. It does mean that all I have in my control is my response to it.

I talk big about wanting to walk away from the Church, but I think that is my own attempts to somehow try to get God to say "uncle." "I mean it, I'm really leaving! You pushed me too far this time. See? See?"

But in the end, it passes, and I apologize again for being the small man trying to be big. I'm hurt, confused, and feel impotent to alter the flood I am caught up in, with only frightening and uncertain destinations in sight. Maybe it would be easier if I could just trust. I try - really I do. But an ephemeral trust has a hard time going toe-to-toe with a very tangible string of deeply personal disappointments. Perhaps if I were a better man that would not be the case. But I'm not.

Confession

She said: I hoped [you hadn't been attending church] because of me.

I said (something to the effect of): It wasn't just because of that. I was tired, burnt out, and needed a break.

I lied. Rather, I disguised the truth because I didn't want her to feel guilty. It was 100% because of how things went down with her. I was tired of being rejected, burnt out because I put so much of myself into getting up the nerve to approach her only to have it all vanish into smoke, and needed a break from seeing her and having 15 years of uninterrupted rejections brought to mind. If things had happened differently, I'd still be happily attending.

But they didn't.

I just needed to get that out of my system. But since the only mercy I would ask for with any hope of an answer if I had any desire to talk to God would be that I never see, speak to, or hear of her again I'm in no hurry to say it directly, however petty I am about such things.

A bottle to ease the pain

I find just about every manner of alcoholic beverage foul-tasting and undesireable. But it took an effort of the will to not go by the store and purchase a sufficient quantity to drink until I lost the ability to move hand to mouth. I've never come within shouting distance of drinking enough to have a hangover, in part because it sounds most unpleasant. But I can't imagine anything could feel much worse than this. I keep telling myself I'm not going back anymore to what's been my church since just after my oldest memories. I hope by the end of the month to make good on that threat. Whether I then start going somewhere else is another question entirely.

Expectations

[Warning: Semi-Geeky Economics Post Ahead]

The Phillip's Curve was proposed by AJ Phillips in a 1958 paper examining the relationship between inflation and the unemployment level. The basic premise is that as inflation increases, so does employment (through a money-supply stimulus effect). The idea was that the government can push the long-run unemployment rate down by continuously printing money and pushing it into the economy.

This held sway until Milton Freidman modified the theory to include expectations about inflation - that if people come to expect a higher inflation rate, the stimulus effects of the increased inflation are lost, making this a short-term, not a long-term solution.

There is a Simpsons episode where the local chapter of MENSA takes over Springfield. They decide that since people drive fastest through yellow lights, they can increase the speed of traffic (by roughly 30% if memory serves) by only having red and yellow lights. Sure enough, we cut to Lenny sitting at a red light. When it changes to yellow, he floors it saying "aaaahhh!!! make it, make it." Obviously, the plan worked... but it is but a short term solution - eventually the rushed feeling caused by the yellow would evaporate, and traffic would settle at about the same level that it was.